Bitch of Living

It's been a while, nearly a year now. So much has changed since then; some of them are good, yet a lot of them are bad. However, one thing has not yet changed, nor do I think that it will. What's funny is that I constantly forget about this one thought, this little nagging in my brain, but it resurfaces nearly every day. How can someone be so insecure that they believe that their own friends don't even like them? This mindset hurts like a bitch, because I don't feel like I have anyone to share what's killing me. My friends have their own problems, and I think that they're worse than mine, so I don't want to burden them with my problems. I need someone to talk to, though. I don't want the sickly sweet sympathy from my boyfriend because it makes me ill. I can't tell my parents because then they'd think it was their fault, and they have enough on their mind right now. My sister's out of the question because it'll be pretty much the same reaction as my boyfriend's. My life hurts right now, and I've just been pulling my pants up and swallowing the pain, but I honestly can't take any more of that.